MY BEUATY BOOK
Oct 28, 2005
Written in none-too-steady purple-inked-ball-point-penned cursive on white notepaper with pink lines4/7/89
PROPERTY OF P. KRISHNAN
My Beuaty Book
The beuaty book I will explain is not going to be all about my beuaty, it is going to be about things I think are beuatiful such as- poems, names, people, flowers and ect. ect. If anyone finds this I ask politely that you just go and stick your nose somewhere else.
Signed,
P. Krishnan
(from page 3 of aforementioned book)
"I plan to live in the country in a beuatiful house and trees and flowers around with a feild and garden. I want to have a puppy and a kitten and some chickens and maybe a pony. I really would like to become a 6th grade teacher in the country- the school is small and nice farmers kids will come to it. I will be a very nice teacher and do lots of neat stuff in my class. I will not tolerate any meaness, swearing or talking back. I would like to be very pretty. I want to have long black hair and be able to wear very beuatiful stylish clothes. In my spare time I might write and draw and definitely do a lot of acting. At home I would not want a husband but maybe a good friend living with me. I don't want any other houses too close to ours."
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And there ends The Beuaty Book of P. Krishnan :-)
What I wished to be and am not comforts me said Browning. And in a similar vein of Rumi-nation- Many prayers are destructive that God in kindness ignores :-) (Not that I have anything against being a 6th grade teacher- but I'm really not so sure about raising chickens...)
But- speaking of Beuaty- or Beauty...I found myself reflecting yesterday on how brimfull of it my life has been- and Is. So many, many kinds of beauty...beauty of places of faces of time and spaces the wide-armed beauty of wisdom and compassion the irrepressible beauty of laughter and love the ragged-edged beauty of pain and the silver-moon beauty of loneliness- the infinite beauty of experience in all its precious, unpredictable, precarious variousness.
"Beauty you are my way to The Divine" reads a quote by The Mother.
And I think how true that rings for me...how in some ways Beauty can serve as both path and guide, Kundera says All men compose their lives according to the laws of beauty...and I remember reading that and feeling a heartnod of appreciative agreement...of course those laws are dynamic and different for each of us- rainbowhued and shifting as all things that are defined in and by the moment must be - which is maybe why right now i am in Madurai and two weeks away from a wedding very surrounded by my family and other incredibles not to mention many houses close to ours- instead of in beuatiful stylish clothes with my puppy, kitten, chickens, pony and all the nice farmers kids schooled out of swearing somewhere in the country :-)
