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Soul Inklings

Jul 14, 2005

In moments when the inner lamps are lit
And the life's cherished guests are left outside,
Our spirit sits alone and speaks to its gulfs.

- from Sri Aurobindo's Savitri


This morning at the end of our reading session, as we were putting away the books, Dr V reaching for his cane said- It's a wonderful blessing, isn't it, to start the day with a reading from Savitri?

It is.

There is so much that I don't understand, so much that is lost on me, so much that I cannot even begin to keep up with- but there is a sacredness to this space of just- Listening. Letting the lines wash over the shore of your attention. Like waves on the sand, thoughts you slowly stop trying to tether to the mind. Sometimes I can be so impatient with things that don't make instant sense to me. There is a temptation to close the book, walk briskly away, say- This is just not My Thing.

But there is so much I have to learn from the elderly man who sits across the desk from me, his impossibly twisted fingers holding a book he has read from each morning for long decades now. Dr V has reached the end and returned to the beginning of this book again and again and again with all the beautiful humility and wisdom of the open, waiting heart that knows it cannot hurry its way into some kinds of understanding.

The first time I read the lines quoted at the start of this entry they caught at something within.

Something so true in the image- of the luminous spirit that must learn to sit down beside its own depths, unaccompanied and unafraid.
"Life's cherished guests" ...I think of the wide embrace of those words and how hard it is sometimes to let those guests wait on the doorstep...how hard- and necessary it is to abandon in these moments of crucial and undeniable aloneness that precious throng and the deep comfort of love's crowding.

It is very difficult to realize the soul, says Dr V this morning. But you keep trying. And sometimes you get an inkling of it.

And perhaps that's what we are reaching for in those still moments spent addressing inner gulfs.

An inkling of our soul.



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